Ever since I started Maiwe, I knew I wanted to use my brand to put a spotlight onto the women that inspire me. Marij de Brabandere has always been on top of my list. I’ve known her since childhood, as she is a close friend of my own mother. I used to see Marij often when I was growing up in Ghent. A mother to four boys, she has been such an inspiration to me when it comes to mothering with all of your heart, unbothered by conventions. Marij would mother with the kind of cool, vulnerability and passion that I also wanted to one day.

Now that I too have kids of my own, it felt as the perfect moment to visit her and get that fresh dose of inspiration on how to mother, live and let live at the same time. Marij taught me that dedicated motherhood doesn’t mean that you need to let go of who you are, but that you can be as quirky, witty and adventurous as always, maybe even more so than you were before. Here is a tribute to one of the coolest moms I know.

Marij is a costume designer for Belgian theater companies such as NTGent and Compagnie Cecilia. She has worked in fashion, advertising and design. For years, she has been assisting her friend and photographer Lieve Blancquaert in many projects, such as the latest 'Wij zijn Europa'. All pictures in this feature are by Mieke Verbijlen.

Hi Marij! Out of all the things I would love to talk to you about, today I wanted to ask you about motherhood. What does it mean to you?

To me, motherhood is about proximity. Being close to your children, offering a safe place for them to come home to, making them feel like they will always be welcome in your life. A great part of motherhood is based on trust. You should trust your children, even though they might violate that trust from time to time, you should always return to it. Trust that they will eventually turn out alright, that things will fall into place. And most importantly: listen to them. Truly listen and observe. Some people think a child is a blend of its parents’ personality traits, but I believe a child is entirely its own person. Sure, you might recognize a smile or a gesture. But the discovery of your child’s unique identity is one of the most fascinating parts of life. You’re observing a person while they grow and evolve, leaving you nothing but surprised.

"The discovery of your child’s unique identity is one of the most fascinating parts of life. You’re observing a person while they grow and evolve, leaving you nothing but surprised."

Are there aspects of your own childhood that you deliberately chose to change when it comes to your own approach to parenting?

When I was 18, I lost my father. At the funeral, we weren’t allowed to cry or show our emotions. I can’t remember anyone asking how I was doing, that wasn’t a priority at the time. When my boys lost their father at a fairly young age, I knew I wanted to create lots of space for them to live their emotions.

I grew up as the second oldest child in a family of six. Everything we did, we did it as a group. With my children, I try to embrace their individuality too. I have four sons, and they’re all very different. If I wouldn’t carve some time to spend with them one on one, there would be many things I would be unaware of. Not long ago, I went on a five-month trip through Europe with my friend and photographer Lieve Blancquaert. During that long trip, I had the time to reflect on motherhood, on my relationship to my children and things I might have done differently. When I got back, I invited each of my sons to my home, separately, to tell them what I had to say. From our conversations, it turned out I didn’t do such a bad job after all (smiles).

"I love how Maiwe doesn’t promote an unattainable beauty standard. True beauty is about how you feel, the way you express that feeling is what makes you attractive."

As motherhood evolves in time, so does our skin. How do you deal with those changes?

When I started getting wrinkles, I didn’t like it at all! But I soon realized there is no point in fighting it. We all get older, our skin gets wrinkled, it’s simply a part of life. That’s one of the things I love about Maiwe, the brand doesn't promote an unattainable beauty standard. Beauty is about how you feel, and the way you express that feeling is what makes you attractive. You can tell by the look in someone’s eyes how that person feels. To me, Maiwe contributes to that positive feeling. Besides this, the excellent products make sure your skin stays healthy.

"The skincare line is so well made, you can feel how much research is behind it. You can really tell that an engineer is involved in the product development." 

Do you have any Maiwe favorites?

Yes! The Activated Toning Mist and the Rosehip Oil Serum are my favorites. I love the Rosehip Rescue Balm too, I use it all day: on my lips, under my eyes, as a night cream, you name it. The fact that Chilean women are harvesting the rosehips that are used in the products is so important to me. The story behind a product and the impact of what we purchase really matters. I love how Maiwe makes us part of that story, how our use of the products contributes to a better life for those women. The skincare line is so well made, you can feel how much research is behind it. You can really tell that an engineer is involved in the product development. And the handwritten card we receive with each order is so charming. It’s such a nice detail that shows the attention and care behind the brand!